Authority

“People are not afraid of failure, they’re afraid of blame.” – Seth Godin

Jim Holt might say this is a priori. Regardless, this statement has a lot of implications. Blame necessitates a discrete authority to ascribe responsibility, inferring subsequent consequences. I include Mr. Holt's Ted Talk because it draws out a relevant question, "What authority do we acknowledge?" For example, Mr. Holt is pretty explicit; he acknowledges himself as an authority. To Mr. Godin's statement, my pride does make me dislike failure as well as blame. But the fullness of my sin makes both inescapable. I am therefore at the mercy of the authority. 

The Arms of Moses

Total hours worked this week: 76. (travel excluded) Why mention it? It draws out thoughts on priorities. Sitting in the airport I'm craving a long bike ride and quiet mountain vistas. But I'm confronted by relentless war and starvation on the news. I'm reminded that life is not about pleasure, not about winning ...not about me. While I'm weary He still must work. As He lifted the arms of Moses, I pray He lifts our arms as well. 

Wait for Opportunity to Mature

Strike while the iron is hot. (Refers to a blacksmith working iron.) We all can attest that timing is important in life. We know to seize opportunity, but we must also wait for opportunity to mature. Its the later with which I struggle.
Above my office computer monitor is a quote, "A vision without a task is just a dream." Sometimes though, the task is to wait. Waiting can be characterized by peace and anticipation or it can characterized by distraction and anxiety. Can you guess how I tend to wait?
"God has a plan." is a well-worn phrase, but it is often merely taken at face value. Regardless, the phrase's implications are vast. In particular, His timing may (and usually does) not match human expectations. Why? He is infinitely perfect. Humans are limited and flawed. Note: to agree with those two statements requires an acknowledgement of mankind's sin.
Waiting peacefully with anticipation then requires a thorough understanding of God. This leads to trust, both in what is observable, such as a person preparing and cooking a meal, and what is not observable, such as God's providence.
Can I wait peacefully with anticipation for my vision of the future? Yes. Can I wait peacefully with anticipation for the future when I lack vision? Yes.

Peace Amid Brokenness

Lord Jesus, the emotions that stir our heart, the thoughts that pause our mind, the truth that rings in our spirit, let it draw us to you. Let our peace amid brokenness be deeply planted in You. Amen. I whispered this prayer in the middle of the night recently and it has stuck with me.

Thoughts on a Plane

There are quiet moments in which God shares His truth and it lights onto our shoulders warming our spirit with feather weight. How can something cover us and yet feel through its weight to lift rather than weigh down? It is the wonderful mystery of our infinite God of authority and love! 

Time and time again I hear and see the trait of effective, insightful listening promoted as foundational to leadership and success. It is by no coincidence that my best listening occurs alongside my listening to The Lord. The cause, not a correlation. 

Consider the first human leader, Adam. He was placed in charge of the garden of Eden, the pinnacle of God's earthly creation. What was his reward? Simply put, a relationship with The Lord. (Eve was never meant to be lorded over.) With Adam's sin came the stark contrast of our world's entitled leaders. 

What can be sold and what can be offered are two separate things. In order to accurately sell the offer there must be deep understanding of its value. Shallow understanding handicaps success. Only compete in areas where value can resonate authentic. 

Dreams that Haunt Our Consciousness

It is nearly 10am and I continue to ruminate on my dream of last night. Its not the first time I have been haunted by a previous night of restless sleep. To no surprise, these most vivid images, thoughts, and emotions coincide with times of intense mental and emotional processing during my conscious hours. So it is difficult to dismiss such weighted dreams.

In last night's dream I found myself in a coastal city. I did not recognize its location, but it felt vaguely like the mid Atlantic. The weather was not particularly stormy, but dark clouds loomed over the ocean. The first tsunami waves struck without any warning. I found myself moving from catastrophic scene to catastrophic scene. I was unable to direct the outcome--I could only watch as infrastructure was ravaged by the powerful water which was cold and dark. People I did not know, but nonetheless, I cared for were swept away or hurt by the relentless water.

As the dream progressed I found myself trying to prepare for the subsequent waves. I braced myself against doors and walls pushing back against the impact of the water. Towards the end of the dream the water swept my oldest and youngest sons away. The dream at that point began to repeat like a skipping record. I kept watching my youngest son wash away and desperately trying to reach my oldest son to no avail. There was a puzzle I kept straining to solve--the solution I could visualize but could not confirm it would indeed work.

I wake exhausted from these dreams. Sometimes I even wake depressed--the emotion of the dream being intense. I have awakened weeping. That generally happens when I lose my wife or children in some manner. This morning I woke tired and sad--I had to lay my demeanor in my Father's hands. The Lord is able to cover all with peace.

Racial Reconciliation

I recently listened to Matt Chandler's podcast, Racial Reconciliation. His podcasts never fail to be a loving punch in the face. I enjoy this physicality all the more as it complements, for example, the orderly lecture of John MacArthur. I intentionally listen to a diverse group of Godly men--the variety I find broadens my awareness and increases my perspective on the global church. Why is this important? It becomes a reference point as to whether I am in touch with what is truly a priority or merely ephemeral. (I tend  to do the same with news--reference more than one source to build a more comprehensive understanding.)

Turning points in my life...

I remember a day early in my childhood when my mother's friend brought over her son to play with me. It was the first time I had ever met someone who was black. Unfortunately, out of fear I hid in a closet from him. I never said anything to anyone to my recollection. I don't know why I was afraid--I just remember fear. It grieves me to recall it. I wish I could apologize to that boy and his mother.

During a mission trip to Mexico (painfully incongruous I know) I was confronted with my prejudice towards Mexicans. Not until I began working alongside some of the most humble, passionate, and intelligent people I have come to meet did I become aware of my own negative stereotypes. It was incredibly convicting to watch a young man, Pepe, witness to people with such an honest burden for his community and love for God. Further, it was convicting to witness, through an interpreter, to patient strangers who honestly and thoughtfully responded.

Considering the nature of sin it is impossible to escape succumbing to prejudice at some point and to some degree. (By no means do I make any excuse for it with that previous statement.) What is paramount is how we respond. We can only respond correctly when we have a proper view of ourselves, sinners in need of Grace.

Words and Context

This is proving harder than I thought. The workdays are more easily navigated than the anything-goes weekends. Once I am home the current of my four children direct my seemingly rudderless focus. That may be a bit on the dramatic side, but certainly the creative wind in my sails is weaker... or just more erratic.

There is a host of things I have been thinking on that could make worthwhile writing topics. As I am at work I will write about words. You read that correctly; I will write words about words. More to the kernel of my intention, I will write about the danger of words.

I regularly contribute to the development of internal communications for my company. It can be, and usually is, a more daunting task than all involved initially perceive. When describing a process in which various departments, business units, and operations participate, it can be difficult to find the correct phrase that will relay correct and sufficient meaning. A "simple" task or series of tasks is not always simply described. (For that matter, a "simple" idea is not always simply tasked.) Take a process to win work for a company. What words could be used to describe the overall process? What words could be used to describe the phases?

I find within a company that essentially provides one service, engineering, the words used to describe why it is done and how it is done are a vague and neglected heap. I don't really know if there is an opportunity to assign blame. I see similar vague and neglected heaps of words in various groupings of people. I suspect the overly applied phrase; "Its human nature." has application here. Considering I am writing blog posts in an effort to refine my ability to compose words as an individual it is permissible to think that people do not compose words in groups with inherent success. Consider the following word
Context - the parts of a written or spoken statement that precede or follow a specific word or passage, usually influencing its meaning or effect 

I can use the same word in two different phrases and greatly influence its interpretation. Popular words in the moment especially end up placed in this scenario. Consider the words, Big Data or Integrated Marketing Communications. I have read various articles that lay out conflicting context around both sets of words. I tend to think this conflict is derived from individual perspectives and group perspectives, in particular closely acquainted groups. In any given company of size there are individuals and groups with unique perspectives. Examples are accounting, sales, R&D, and so on.

I have run out of time and steam on this topic. To tie this up: It’s crucial to be aware of words and their meaning to the reader. It’s even more crucial to give proper context to support the words and their meaning.

Entitlement

I am not very good at keeping my commitment--I have missed four days, I think. Nonetheless I recommit.

I have been wrestling with being discontent, not pleased or satisfied according to Merriam-Webster. It comes from a sense of entitlement that is deeply rooted in me. It is so deep that it feels independent--it reminds me of a Dandelion's root that grows deep into the soil. Pulling at the surface only removes the blossoms and leaves; shortly after, the weed grows back, bigger, because the root is intact, taking even more water and nutrients. To ensure the entire root is removed either kill it or wholly extract it.

So how do I remove my deeply rooted entitlement? I don't know that it is something I do alone as much as it is me getting out of the way of God removing it. Note the two parts to this idea. 1) Me getting out of the way. 2) God removing it.

"For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." Philippians 2:13

First, "get out of the way", it does not mean to step aside and do nothing. Rather I mean get to a place that aligns with God. I like the word calibrate, to carefully assess, set, or adjust (something abstract). Daily, what do I focus on internally and what do I make a priority externally? For example, do I devote time to pray, study, and meditate, as well as, devote effort to encourage people with my words and actions? Considering this post, the answer is not nearly enough.

Second, God removing my sense of entitlement is not instantaneous. (It could be instantaneous if He saw value in doing so.) Scripture points to a process. (James 1) This process has a unique pace set uniquely to my own state. Back to the Dandelion, some roots are deeper, thicker and twisted more than others. That is not to say I am worse than someone else--we are all sinners saved by Grace alone. The point is my uniqueness. God in His infinite nature, created an infinite variety of individuals. I can attest to this idea when observing my own children. All four are a sampling of Tracey and me, yet so very uniquely their own person. I have things to learn and understand that can be harder lessons for me than someone else. It cycles around to the first part. God is going to use my time in prayer, study and meditation. He is going to use my interaction with people. If I step aside and do nothing I am going to disengage my relationships. That just exacerbates the issue. What happens if I disengage God? What happens if I disengage others?

My tendency is to disengage. I retreat into myself when I am at a loss. I become passive aggressive. As I declared in an earlier post I have to fight, actively. I have to fight apathy and mediocrity. I consider my brothers Paul and Apollos:

"To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we entreat. We have become, and are still, like the scum of the world, the refuse of all things." 1 Corinthians 4:11-13

Never give up the fight

Friday I called an audible and took PTO for the afternoon. I had been eagerly awaiting the movie adaptation of the book, Lone Survivor. Having already read the book on the recommendation of a coworker who served on an AC-130H Spectre gunship in Afghanistan I knew I wanted to see the movie, specifically in the theater.

Most reviews assert the movie lacks a connection--it demonstrates monumental heroics, but fails to provide justification. I agree on the premise of Curse of Knowledge. The movie does not relay all the context provided by the book. That said, I value the movie as I value a presentation based on a report. (See Nancy Duarte's graphic and table to make sense of this statement.)

With that sidestep taken I will now concentrate on the main point of my post.

"Never give up the fight" Matthew Axelson. 

The closest I came to serving in the military was a failed trip to enlistment testing. At the age of 17, the Arizona Army National Guard flew me from Prescott to Phoenix where I bunked in a hotel room with a Navajo brother who intended to re-enlist. The following morning found all of us candidates at the test facility. I asked the man in charge if there was time to use the bathroom. He said "sure"--he meant "no." I came out of the bathroom to a test in progress behind a locked door. I was informed that I would have to come back at a later date. That was eye opening. 

Since that time I have periodically wrestled with my sense of duty--to serve alongside others and to stand against evil. Idealistic, I know. This of course does not necessarily require a soldier's uniform. I recall Saving Private Ryan. 

James Ryan: "Tell me I have led a good life."

Ryan's Wife: "What?"

James Ryan: "Tell me I'm a good man."

So, how do I fulfill my sense of duty as a civilian? I fight against apathy and mediocrity in my life. Does that mean I done gray sweats and do PT daily till I puke. Probably not. Rather, I discipline myself to engage relationships in a Godly manner. To quote Timothy Keller, "God calls us into three great relationships: with the earth, with all the people on earth, and with himself, the Lord of the Earth." (Sermon: Lord Of The Earth) Ecology, justice, and Grace as Keller puts it. That is a tall order isn't it? Keller acknowledges this, he gives the only sustainable driver for such a call: the awe (and love) of God. 

The fight takes place in the moments that make up the day. Greeting my child who stands groggy-eyed at my bedside. Cooking to order on a Saturday morning. Entertaining those seemingly pointless conversations. Providing meaningful correction. Being an example by committing to study and prayer. Etc. etc.--it all adds up. Without seeing my children as creations of God, as an example, I will likely be wore down by the sum of these moments. The fight is won when I focus on my awe and love of God. 

Why do I work at MWH?

Inadvertently a coworker gave me a recommendation--pick a subject and sell rather than stream consciousness into written word. So today I will answer the question, why do I work at MWH?

As an engineering company, MWH provides me valuable motivation to commit myself to the responsibilities of my position. In my own words, the purpose of MWH is to ensure sustainable access to water. This is a real benefit; access to water is a fundamental need of all people. I directly affect the ability of MWH to fullfill this purpose through the communication I create. Practically speaking its research, facilitating brainstorming sessions, managing projects and coordinating staff, designing a variety of collateral, and promoting best practices and standards.

I consider graphic design a means to an end in my position, even though my title is Lead Supervising Graphic Designer. If I have any real purpose it is this: be a catalyst and conduit for the clear understanding of the purpose of MWH. To that end my title could be Strategic Communicator. This becomes clearer when considering the clients I serve within MWH. Any given week I interact with human resources, finance, corporate strategy, corporate communications, operation level leadership, intellectual property consultants, marketing staff, and so on. Often each of these groups have similar if not redundant efforts. Connecting these groups efforts creates a sum greater than its parts.

Making connections really energizes me. I am happiest and fueled when I am meaningfully connecting the efforts within the company. It is in this space where I can untether my mind and allow it to perceive far flung possibilities. Those possibilities are frameworks. Those frameworks become compelling stories that resonate our purpose and its value. That is why I work at MWH. In my best moments I can reach out into the cold dark space and capture value of the purpose of MWH.

My New Years Non-Resolution

Is it possibly to stumble upon your own blog? I think I just did and as such will be recommitting myself to this channel of questionably useful content. As a catalyst, I'm going to commit to a challenge posted on CopyBlogger. Write for 20 minutes every day -- no editing, just first draft quality stuff. Further, I'm going to post, for better or worse, here. Its about to get interesting in this neck of the Internet woods. Start the timer.

Day 1

My third child, Micah, is exceptional. Every parent thinks that about their child/children, but I'm confident that anyone who knows Micah would share that observation. He is of a certain intense or, as my wife counsels me to say, spirited quality.

Really everything about him is this way. His emotions are big, whether it be happiness and excitement or sadness and anger. He is extremely insightful for a newly minted 4 year old. His physicality is big also. He matches his older brother and sister in endurance and seemingly brute strength. He also has intense bouts of asthma that have ended with multiple day visits to the hospital. His eyes can be so big that they are all I see when looking at him. They can either infuriate me in their obstinate glare or melt me in their tender gaze. 

Micah requires an entirely different engagement than Elijah and Amelia. Its more intentional of course, I cannot passively interact with him. He will not accept it. Yet, I can not match his intensity either. He requires an eye-level, calm, full engagement or nothing. There is no in between, or so it feels that way.

I have a sense that the stakes are the highest with Micah. He is destined for something that will make a big splash however unconventional it may be. To be totally honest I pray frequently that I would not be the stumbling block that causes him to flame out as an adult. As I said before, its all or nothing for him and I suspect his life will carry that theme always.