A Worthwhile Challenge

A recent 3-part challenge from my pastor has been the cause of much introspection. The challenge: Identify for what I am grateful, specifically in 2014. Identify what I have learned in 2014. Identify to what I will commit in 2015.
For the first part, I intuitively looked beyond activities or things like a “fun family getaway,” an “exceptional bike ride,” or a “cool, new device.” There was no shortage of each that was indeed gratifying, but I was compelled to dig deeper. To put it another way, an activity or thing with a value that can be influenced did not make the list. My list is short, 3 points in fact.

• The departure of close friendships is not a fatal blow 
• Micah is making great progress 
• My frustrations with my company do not define me 

This list is specific to 2014 and reflects the lion’s share of my prayers during 2014. Tracey being a Godly wife and mother, my job providing sufficient income as well as other points of gratitude are not bound by 2014.
What have I learned in 2014 is humbling to admit. The following statement is tough, knowing my testimony means a great deal for certain people. I don’t know the Lord and how to live with Him nearly as much as I thought I did.
What I learned about God:

• His presence and involvement is unwavering 
• His grace is so much greater in scope – it is infinite in a manner I don’t understand 

What I learned about Myself:

• I place my faith in works, mine and others, rather than God 
• I can’t force an outcome 
• I unnecessarily exhaust myself 

To what will I commit in 2015?

• I commit to a deeper dependence on God 
• I commit to humility and honesty in my relationships demonstrating my awe and love for God  
• I commit to successfully taking the GMAT exam 

The last commitment may seem out of synch with the first two, so let me provide context. I recently completed an online course on marketing via Coursera. A key point from the course is the following: In order to have an idea of value that can be profitable, first, ask the question “What is wrong with the status quo?” My answer to this question time and time again–the world is lost. The solution to that problem is Jesus Christ. (Hang with me to see where this is going.) I have a talent for listening and deciphering. This is most notable in areas of which I have deep understanding. I also have a talent for teaching. To put it another way, I have a passion for sharing what I have discovered to be true. I have a burden to teach at the university level with the end goal of presenting Jesus Christ. Therefore, I must successfully take the GMAT exam as the first step to obtain a master’s degree, required at that level.

Testing One's Worldview

In response to: 7-habits-of-highly-emotionally-intelligent-people 
At first pass these traits appear valuable, but when the underlying motivation is considered I am left unsettled. Is it self-centered, survival of the fittest? Is it altruism? Or is it something else? 
All of life’s relationships and experiences require a framework for interpretation, a worldview. A worldview that treats the negative merely as undesirable, objectionable, and inconvenient is shortsighted and inevitably unstable.  

Emotional Intelligence: the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. (dictionary.com) 

Empathy: the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions: the ability to share someone else's feeling (merriam-webster.com)

One can argue these traits may be judicious, but these traits are not characteristically empathetic. All things considered these traits are faulty in my opinion. 

God's Unwavering Presence

I recently responded to the following statement. Please state your personal beliefs about God and significant faith experiences. Below is my response.

Jesus Christ is everything to me. Though my walk with Him is littered with my selfish stumbles and falls, He holds me firmly. He is the Why and How of my life. He is the reason I am able to be a husband, a father, a friend, an employee, and a citizen. I believe God is not restricted by time, but exists in His eternal state knowing and directing the past, present, and future for His full glory. He is completely worthy. For this reason, I believe our walks with Him are of value; a shattered life is not lost, but precious. 

My own testimony bears this truth. As a child I lived amidst the outfall of alcoholism. Later, as a teen, I ran from the Lord clinging to atheism. I considered myself too vile and others too hypocritical. I had heard the truth many times, but I did not understand its power. For many years, I dragged myself through filth, all the while loathing myself for it. God seized me in college—He brought into clear focus my sinful state, my trajectory’s inescapable end, and His enduring and loving open arms. He had never stopped calling, never stopped intervening all in order to draw me to Him. 

Really, all of my life experience is significant. It is significant that He kept me while I was wayward. I reflect on that past and know the intervention of His grace is real and tangible. Also, it is significant that He takes my imperfect faith and effort to bring glory to Himself. Examples include: physical injury, financial trials, and painful relationships, as well as, joyful relationships, career successes, and personal accomplishments. I recall the countless moments in which the Holy Spirit has whispered instruction. His daily engagement is evident in the times I obey and in the times I neglect His prompt.