Ceaseless Struggle, Part 2

Saturday evening I watched The Kingdom. It's an intense action movie that utilizes two cultures, American and Saudi Arabian, as the catalyst for conflict and resolution. It has moments of genuine insight into the two cultures. (ex. Colonel Faris Al Ghazi's objection with Adam Leavitt's foul language) Further, the director Peter Berg goes broader commenting on the plight of humanity. His success in this regard is questionable. It's emotionally charged, but for obvious reasons is limited.
This movie is part of a genre that portrays monumental courage and sacrifice. I admit, I romanticize these heroes who expend all that they have in order to obtain victory. Yet, most of us will never face such dramatic situations in our lives. Rather, we slog through the muck—characterized by those almost imperceivable little battles. It's our responses to these daily interactions with each other while living generally quiet and unobtrusive existences.
In my prior post, I stated my conviction to apply myself to the truly demanding. Likewise, I'm called to a marathon, not a sprint as these movies demonstrate. My expenditure will be over a lifetime. Not one, all-defining battle, but rather those almost imperceivable little battles.

Ceaseless Struggle

Taking in my eight-year-old daughter's swim meet, I'm flooded with a desire to compete. I envision a relentless pace of powerful strokes propelling me forward almost skimming the surface. Immediately, I wonder what venues could provide such an opportunity and just as quickly I'm struck by the sheer number of adult competitions currently available. (running, biking, swimming, etc.) Considering my current reading, Ideas and Opinions by Albert Einstein, all this causes me pause. Einstein was characteristically altruistic. It was the foundation of his "ceaseless struggle". With all this in mind, I'm convinced of the following. 1) Harking back to simpler, easier successes is short-sighted. These successes are beneficial only as the building blocks of childhood. 2) Adulthood holds a responsibility to succeed within complexity and difficulty. It is this resistance that both develops and maintains maturity. Therefore, my conviction is to apply my desire to the challenges at hand, i.e. raising my children, supporting my wife, contributing to my community. In doing so, I gain ground on my God-given potential.

Morning in the Mountains

This morning I looked into a glassy mountain lake; watched silky bubbling ribbons of water coming and going. I spied crisp tree-lined ridges and cozy meadows nestled in slumbering hills. I saw deep blues slide to purples then to pinks then back to blues. I followed thick necked elk as they exhaled heavily amidst tall pines. 

We Should Sit Around and Eat More

I recently dug up archived posts from my now defunct website. It was very web 1.0, but nonetheless the posts are pearls. In fact, it has invigorated me to post more off the cuff content here.
Last night our family of six spent our evening with old and new friends doing what all good middle-class Americans do, that is, sit around and eat. The hoard of children escaped to the basement, periodically surfacing for drinks and snacks while the adults instinctively split into guys conversation and girls conversation around the kitchen. It was refreshing. Tracey and I with our kids in tow have been visiting churches for the past 6 months. On the surface, one might think this only impacts our Sunday morning routine, but really it has impacted our general social activity. We are Christians and diehard Christians at that. Leaving our former church was a tough decision, but one we are still convicted is the right decision. With that said it has eliminated many opportunities for social interaction. Friends are still friends, but no longer do we see people in passing to say, "How about our families get together for a meal and let the kids run around?" or "Let's grab a coffee, just you and I." Time marches on and we raise our head from our daily tasks only momentarily to notice. To that end, I observe Tracey and I surfing FB a lot more. So, last night was a real pleasure. The guys talked in length about parenthood, work, and our personal walk all in the context of Christ. We even shared some of our testimonies. The children had fun also—we were treated to a trio of singing girls who had written a song amid playing. I proudly displayed my iPhone lighter app.

Approximately 150,000 People

According to a brief internet search, multiple sources report the following, approximately 150,000 people die each day. That is essentially 2 people per second. As of 2014, Westminster's population is 106,750 people–humanity's daily mortality is greater than the population of my hometown. On the other hand are daily births–there are approximately 300,000 of them. Beyond cold hard numbers, I honestly can not fathom these facts.
All this to say, I'm in no place to judge God's plan. I'm overwhelmed by the sheer number of moving parts, each being a precious soul.

Job 38:1-7 — The LORD Answers Job  

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
Dress for actiona like a man;I will question you, and you make it known to me.
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy? 

 The LORD's answer continues through chapter 41. It's not for me to question His timing It's not for me to direct His actions. It is for me to be humble, still enough to rest on the truth of His righteousness.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. — Proverbs 9:10 

We are not Mindless Drones

Leadership is necessary to every endeavor. In particular, I am speaking about endeavors requiring more than one person. Even a team of two will identify a leader. That duo may share the responsibility of leadership back and forth. Nonetheless, leadership is the crucial activity of steering towards a desired destination; it is the critical activity of ensuring sufficient momentum to reach that destination.
Leadership can come from anyone. Some inherently are compelled to lead, though it is no less learned. What parent has not observed a little leader at the playground? Good managers learn to also lead and independent-minded experts can learn to lead.
Leadership is vital in two ways. 1) we ought to invest in learning to lead. There is no shortage of opportunity to lead in every walk of life. Leadership is not reserved for CEOs. 2) we ought to acknowledge our intrinsic need for leadership. We are not mindless drones to be commanded, but we are children in need of a Father.

A Worthwhile Challenge

A recent 3-part challenge from my pastor has been the cause of much introspection. The challenge: Identify for what I am grateful, specifically in 2014. Identify what I have learned in 2014. Identify to what I will commit in 2015.
For the first part, I intuitively looked beyond activities or things like a “fun family getaway,” an “exceptional bike ride,” or a “cool, new device.” There was no shortage of each that was indeed gratifying, but I was compelled to dig deeper. To put it another way, an activity or thing with a value that can be influenced did not make the list. My list is short, 3 points in fact.

• The departure of close friendships is not a fatal blow 
• Micah is making great progress 
• My frustrations with my company do not define me 

This list is specific to 2014 and reflects the lion’s share of my prayers during 2014. Tracey being a Godly wife and mother, my job providing sufficient income as well as other points of gratitude are not bound by 2014.
What have I learned in 2014 is humbling to admit. The following statement is tough, knowing my testimony means a great deal for certain people. I don’t know the Lord and how to live with Him nearly as much as I thought I did.
What I learned about God:

• His presence and involvement is unwavering 
• His grace is so much greater in scope – it is infinite in a manner I don’t understand 

What I learned about Myself:

• I place my faith in works, mine and others, rather than God 
• I can’t force an outcome 
• I unnecessarily exhaust myself 

To what will I commit in 2015?

• I commit to a deeper dependence on God 
• I commit to humility and honesty in my relationships demonstrating my awe and love for God  
• I commit to successfully taking the GMAT exam 

The last commitment may seem out of synch with the first two, so let me provide context. I recently completed an online course on marketing via Coursera. A key point from the course is the following: In order to have an idea of value that can be profitable, first, ask the question “What is wrong with the status quo?” My answer to this question time and time again–the world is lost. The solution to that problem is Jesus Christ. (Hang with me to see where this is going.) I have a talent for listening and deciphering. This is most notable in areas of which I have deep understanding. I also have a talent for teaching. To put it another way, I have a passion for sharing what I have discovered to be true. I have a burden to teach at the university level with the end goal of presenting Jesus Christ. Therefore, I must successfully take the GMAT exam as the first step to obtain a master’s degree, required at that level.

Testing One's Worldview

In response to: 7-habits-of-highly-emotionally-intelligent-people 
At first pass these traits appear valuable, but when the underlying motivation is considered I am left unsettled. Is it self-centered, survival of the fittest? Is it altruism? Or is it something else? 
All of life’s relationships and experiences require a framework for interpretation, a worldview. A worldview that treats the negative merely as undesirable, objectionable, and inconvenient is shortsighted and inevitably unstable.  

Emotional Intelligence: the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. (dictionary.com) 

Empathy: the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions: the ability to share someone else's feeling (merriam-webster.com)

One can argue these traits may be judicious, but these traits are not characteristically empathetic. All things considered these traits are faulty in my opinion. 

God's Unwavering Presence

I recently responded to the following statement. Please state your personal beliefs about God and significant faith experiences. Below is my response.

Jesus Christ is everything to me. Though my walk with Him is littered with my selfish stumbles and falls, He holds me firmly. He is the Why and How of my life. He is the reason I am able to be a husband, a father, a friend, an employee, and a citizen. I believe God is not restricted by time, but exists in His eternal state knowing and directing the past, present, and future for His full glory. He is completely worthy. For this reason, I believe our walks with Him are of value; a shattered life is not lost, but precious. 

My own testimony bears this truth. As a child I lived amidst the outfall of alcoholism. Later, as a teen, I ran from the Lord clinging to atheism. I considered myself too vile and others too hypocritical. I had heard the truth many times, but I did not understand its power. For many years, I dragged myself through filth, all the while loathing myself for it. God seized me in college—He brought into clear focus my sinful state, my trajectory’s inescapable end, and His enduring and loving open arms. He had never stopped calling, never stopped intervening all in order to draw me to Him. 

Really, all of my life experience is significant. It is significant that He kept me while I was wayward. I reflect on that past and know the intervention of His grace is real and tangible. Also, it is significant that He takes my imperfect faith and effort to bring glory to Himself. Examples include: physical injury, financial trials, and painful relationships, as well as, joyful relationships, career successes, and personal accomplishments. I recall the countless moments in which the Holy Spirit has whispered instruction. His daily engagement is evident in the times I obey and in the times I neglect His prompt.